And Then There Were Four

We're creating this blog because it's the cool thing to do when people are having a baby. Just kidding, really we already have a hard enough time keeping up with everyone we want to, and our lives are about to get even more wonderfully busy. We can't wait - and we want you guys to be able to share in it too, so we both plan on reporting on it. Read at your own risk, and hopefully you'll enjoy it!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Chaos and Calm

As I said in the last post I wrote last has been a bit stressful and chaotic lately. I'm dealing with a fair bit of stress at work right now which has been difficult and is definitely taking a toll on me spiritually, emotionally and physically. Our weekend was but crazy. Monday morning rolled around and Brian and I went stumbling downstairs in the direction of the coffee pot. He turned and said to me "Did we even have a weekend???"

Friday night we actually got to go out and have fun which was WONDERFUL. When we first moved to this area, we knew nobody and definitely didn't know anyone in the neighborhood. Now, thanks to our dog, we have lots of great friends. Dogs and kids have a way of bringing people together....a great way to make friends. Anyway- we went out to this place called the Volleyball House on Friday night with some neighborhood friends and played 3+ hours of intense volleyball. Ben was at home sound asleep with the babysitter and we got out for a night of exercise and fun. Saturday we got to see my uncle from Arizona who we never get to see! He was in town speaking and stayed the night with us. We love having family around!

Sunday was busier than normal and came on the tail end of an awful night with Ben. I'm starting to think that maybe the kid just isn't ready for solid food even though he's 6 and a half months old. He liked the soup but really doesn't like anything else. I gave him blueberry baby yogurt which he seemed to really like but it must have bothered his stomach because he didn't sleep well at all. Granted he woke up once for an awful dirty diaper and once because he was cold but I think it was the yogurt. It's a catch 22 because I don't think he can go longer than 3-4 hours without eating when he's not taking in any solid food so we're up more at night. But it's waaayyy too much work to get him to eat anything....not worth it. I'm actually starting to worry I'll be the mother who is breastfeeding her 5 year old because he simply won't eat solid food. It's like how the websites say that preschoolers must be potty trained.....does that mean they have to weaned too? Sorry school for you.

Yes...Saturday night was awful and Sunday was really really busy. We got to see good friends who were in town just for the weekend which was awesome. We feel like we got jipped when they moved because we just had started hanging out and realizing how much we liked them....then they moved. We had breakfast Sunday morning with them then headed to church. We were at church until 2:30 because of a BBQ after the service. It took us almost 2 hours to get home from church because of awful traffic- so all in all we were gone from home for over 8 hours. The last two hours were spent holding a fussy Ben in the backseat of the car while we inched our way down 95. I know you're not supposed to take your kid out of the carseat while driving but when he is screaming and banging his head against the side of the carseat and the car is moving slower than I would be if I was walking, I figured it was fine. We got home....I crashed. The stress and chaos of my life came pouring down on me and I just crashed. I lost my temper with Brian...lost my cool with Ben....yelled at the dog for simply being the dog. It wasn't pretty.

That night/morning when I went in to feed Ben I held him in my arms rocking him looking down at the little (kind of little) bundle in my arms who was happily eating, eyes closed, looking content and peaceful. I found myself talking to him quietly- apologizing for my attitude about parenting, apologizing for getting so frustrated with him earlier, apologizing for letting myself get so stressed out that he was starting to be affected. We sat there together and rocked for quite a while. After whispering "I'm sorry Benj......Mummy loves you" about a hundred times I was ready to put him down in his crib and let him continue in sleep. I was just about to stand up and he reached his little chubby hand out and touched my face. It was as if he was saying "It's ok...I forgive you." That one act brought immediate calm and tranquility to my soul. Regardless of the storms around me, I know I've got it good in my wonderful little family.

We had a great day together yesterday, Benj and me. Then we welcomed Daddy home with a nice family dinner. And yes....Brina got extra pets as well :)

1 comment:

Irene said...

Ah Katie, I look at your posts and I think of myself so many years ago. Being a new mom and desperately wanting to do it right can bring so much stress. Then putting a job on top of it, a church that is such a distance and so busy, do you wonder?
I unfortunately cried over my two rather frequently. Jen had colic for four months and I was in a stange town where I didn't know many people. David was a real bugger! Had an extreme case of colic for six month, I wondered if I was going to remain sane. You couldn't take the kid anywhere because he screamed and scrunched his tummy up every two hours, 24/7 When I wanted to take him to Calif. to visit my folks, the doc gave me pheno-barb to put in his bottle, basically tranquilize him!
We did a lot of things in those days. No rules about car seats so if the child cried you pulled him out and held him (Steve was driving of course). I really didn't think I was going to make it. Fortunately Steve's Mom helped out with Jen when I was really going crazy. Now I look at my son and see an easy-going, yet cool and collected man. So this too will end. Wish you lived closer so I could take him off your hands at times. Lots of experience with grandchildren! So if you ever want to drop him off!! Take care, praying for you!
Peace, blessings and love.