Post-Op continued

As is the case with most of life, waiting for something is the hardest part. The actual surgery was quick- over probably in less than 10 minutes, but the time leading up to it was the worst part of the whole experience. Yes there were the months and months of ear infections that led up to the need for tubes and that was awful. But the hospital experience itself wasn't too pleasant either. We had to wake Ben up at 5:45 and load him in the car. We walked in his room and he was curled in a little ball in the corner of his crib. Not only did he have to wake up early, but he wasn't allowed to eat or drink. We got to Hopkins and waited....filled out paperwork.....and waited- got called back to pre-op and waited. You get the point....long morning. But praise the Lord everything seems to have gone well and Ben is a seemingly happy camper.

Call me crazy- but I think he is hearing better than he was before. Maybe not hearing better but at least hearing differently. After he woke from his nap the day of the surgery he was a non-stop chatterbox all day. He ran around the house verbalizing and playing with all the loudest toys he could find. Does it make me a bad parent that I can't understand 90% of what he says? Hope not.

Post-Op

Thank you everyone for your prayers and support! Surgery went fine today. The entire procedure took about 10 minutes. The waiting took about 3 hours. As you can see, Ben is in fine form and doing great. More to come tomorrow!

Let It Go

In the past 16 months I've been bent over my kitchen sink with my hands bathed in warm, soapy water at least 486 times. It has become my routine. At least once per day, I engage in this daily ritual of filling my white rubbermaid bin with hot water and soap and gently cleaning my baby's things. The contents of that tub have proudly displayed the rites of passage and progression from helpless newborn to independent toddler. It started with small 4 oz bottles that contained more milk than he would ever drink in one sitting. Then the 8 oz bottles and teething toys. Then the various rings, stacking toys and duplo legos. Then the sippy cups. Now the little plates, cups with straws and silverware. At least once a day for 16 months.

Parenting has taught me many things and one of the most important lessons has been to let go and let God. When it all comes down to it, I have control over many things in Ben's life but there is a vast number of things that I cannot control. I can put good food in front of him and encourage him to eat it. I can play with him and read to him. I can spend extra time cleaning his dishes by hand. I can teach him to pray. I can pray for him to grow up to be a man of integrity and wisdom. But there are a lot of things I have no control over. No matter how hard I try, I cannot change the outcome....I am not the force that drives to the ultimate desired goal.

Tomorrow Ben has surgery. Yes it's minor surgery and for that I am very grateful. But when it's your child, "routine" is not "routine." Going to the hospital and having to entrust my child into the hands of doctors and nurses while they hopefully make changes to better his quality of life is not part of my routine. So I sit here tonight and pray. Out of my control and out of my hands into the hands of the Great Physician who I trust with my life....and Ben's.

OK OK.....a new blog

Ok Ok Ok.....now heard from at least 10 people who said "if you're going to stop blogging, please end with something other than Ben's naked butt." So, i'll change it to make everyone happy.

I'm not necessarily planning on discontinuing the blog...as a matter of fact there have been many moments in the past few weeks when I've thought "Wow I need to blog about X." But there's this thing called time, and I seem to get less and less of it each week. I seriously think it's a conspiracy to slowly but surely take minutes out of my day....like an inside bank job where an account only loses a fraction of a penny each day but over time some random account offshore will have millions. My time is hiding in that account somewhere and I'm not feeling optimistic about getting it back anytime in the near future. But....I will try harder. My New Years resolution (that I'm beginning in March apparently) is to blog.

Updates from our neck of the woods....

- Ben is getting tubes put in his ears on Wednesday morning. After 7 double ear infections since November, it's time. He has been on 7 courses of antibiotics (5 different kinds) with the longest stretch between courses being less than 2 weeks. At this point in time, I'm so ready for the surgery to happen that I'm not even feeling that nervous. I'm sick of seeing him in pain and waking up to his screams in the middle of the night. I'm sick of the routine of going to the doctor saying "he has an ear infection...i know it" and having them of course find not only 1 but 2 then off to the pharmacy to fill the prescription then home for naps because we're exhausted. I'm sick of having to buy tylenol and motrin because we used an entire bottle trying to make the days bearable for him. It's definitely time. Poor bug.

- Brian continues in his PhD work and seems to be making good progress. He took the day off yesterday and that was his first day off in 19 days. He's been like the horse with the carrot dangling in front of his face, plodding along hoping to someday get to endulge. Now it's as though he can smell the barn and is starting a sprint to the finish line. Ok maybe not a sprint....I doubt he'll graduate in 2011 but he's enthusiastically moving at a trot rather than a plod.

- Work for me is work. I'm finishing up a class at seminary right now with a paper about what it means to be female and made in the image of God. Very interesting topic and I'm enjoying doing the research. However, I haven't written an academic paper in about 2 years and am struggling to remember good academic speak and proper citation.

- Brina is growing lazier and lazier as the days go on but she's still a good dog. She turned 3 in January so we threw her a "21st birthday happy hour" with all our friends in the neighborhood. We had 12 adults, 4 kids under 3 years old, and 4 dogs who are 50+ pounds.

Like Fudge

A quote from my good friend Amy-

"I think non- parents don't quite grasp the 24/7ness of small children. Like fudge, ignoring them for mere seconds can result in disaster."

If you've ever made fudge or had a small child, I'm sure you're chuckling and can relate to the above statement. It really does sum up our lives right now with a very active almost 14 month old little boy with a growing curiosity for all things....well actually for all things he's not allowed to have. Ben has more toys in our house than most daycare centers have in rooms containing multiple children. Toys everywhere you look....under tables and couches, taking over the living room, invading every bedroom, in the bath tub, on the changing tables....everywhere. You'd think this would keep him busy as a bee but no. Ben wants to play with the broom and swiffer. He wants to see how many of my things he can shove in his barn. He wants to take every shoe out of our shoe rack and strategically place them in secret locations all over the house. He wants to take all our remotes and point them at the TV and push buttons until something happens. He wants to try with all his might to take Brina's collar off her neck and remove the tags.

So our dilemma this year....what to do about a Christmas tree??? Brian loves the smell of fresh cut tree and really wanted a real tree. Especially since we aren't going anywhere for Christmas and will actually spend the holiday in our house, it would be nice to be festive rather than waking up Christmas morning to a Christmas-less house. But in the back of my mind i'm thinking "Ben+tree= DISASTER" So our solution for Christmas this year.....we have a 3 foot mini tree (cut off the top 3 feet of a larger tree) strategically placed on top of a card table in our living room. Out of reach but definitely still visible. I'll post pictures later of Ben attempting to help us "decorate" the tree.

Neat and Tidy

I admit......Ben was born to a woman who has many things higher on the priority list than having a squeaky clean house. Every New Years I resolve to do better and my house is always cleaner for the first few months but as the pace of life picks up, cleaning is the first thing to go.

Well...I gave birth to a cleaner. Ben is a boy who likes things neat and tidy and has taken it on himself to keep our house picked up. His favorite toy.....a broom. One of his favorite activities....taking wipes out of his wipe box and scrubbing the floor. The above video shows him neatly stacking the Christmas presents. This boy is neat and tidy.

Giving Thanks

This post is a bit late....but here's a list of things I'm especially thankful for this year (2010)

- Ben. I have a healthy 13 month old who brings me unbelievable joy every single day. Yes there are challenges and it's a lot of hard work but it is absolutely worth it.

- Ben has more or less been a very healthy kid. No major illnesses or injuries! Not to say we haven't gone through boxes of kleenex to wipe snotty noses or done loads of laundry after other unfortunate reversals of fortune, but he has been for the most part healthy. Blessing.

- Ben is sleeping. At least 50% of the time, he sleeps through the night without any wakings. After going 13 months without a night of uninterrupted sleep, we'll take it when we can get it.

- Ben is happy. He smiles and laughs at anyone and everyone hoping that they'll return the smile and give him an excuse to wave his pudgy hand in excitement.

- Brian. I have a wonderful husband who I've been married to for 4 years. He is working so hard to get his PhD and I admire his persistence in the important work he is doing. He is a wonderful father who sacrifices time and time again for his son and is setting an example of what it means to be a Christian man of integrity.

- Family. We have wonderful family who have been so supportive and loving. We could not make it without them. Our awesome parents are amazing grandparents to Ben. What a blessing.

- Health. We made it through 2010 without any health problems! 2006- Katie misdiagnosed with a terminal heart disease. 2007- Brian diagnosed with epilepsy after 2 seizures. 2008- Katie diagnosed with fibrous dysplasia after docs found bone tumors. 2009- Ben was born totally blue and not breathing. 2010- HEALTHY YEAR. Praise the Lord.

- Community. We love our church family. We love our neighbors. We love our friends.

We have lots to be thankful for this year. At the close of a crazy, hectic day, I'm sitting here drinking tea, looking through the pictures on my computer of the past year and giving thanks to God for all his blessings.