Sleep Library

I was cleaning my house this morning before heading into work and while I picking up I kept finding baby sleep books scattered around my house. I made a pile of them and no joke....had a stack of 7 books about how to get your baby to sleep. I've read or perused through Weissbluth, Sears, Ferber, Sleep Lady, Baby Whisperer. I know more about every method out there and more about infant REM sleep than I ever wanted to. You'd think our child should be sleeping around the clock based on our library....but he doesn't. So...I'm going to write my own sleep book based on my experiences with Benjamin. It'll go something like this.

Chapter 1- For those of you who have babies that sleep through the night from the get go, count your blessings. Oh and please don't have the audacity to complain to other mothers when your child has one bad night. Or complain when your baby has a stretch where he/she wakes up once or twice at night.....for many mothers one or two times up is unheard of....it's more like 6-7.

Chapter 2- Do not...I repeat do not make the same mistakes I did for the first 4 months. Don't nurse your child every time he wakes up in the middle of the night and nurse him until he falls asleep. Because then your baby never learns to fall asleep on his own and depends on you to be able to do it. Start good sleep habits early.

Chapter 3- Ways to survive little sleep- exercise (endorphins work wonders even when you're running on 2-3 hours of sleep). Also, get out of pajamas quickly in the morning. If you stay in pj's all day then you're exhausted all day. If you get dressed, wash your face and freshen up for the day, it really does help.

Chapter 4- Live near family. I don't.....it sucks. Live near your family

Chapter 5- Every kid is different. Books about specific methods really don't work because they put your child in a box. Each baby is unique. Tips are good but forcing something on your child that doesn't work for him/her will backfire.

Chapter 6- I'm realizing that everything is a passing stage and it goes very quickly. Carpe diem. Enjoy it all while it lasts even if it's tough.

Chapter 7- My kid is still the COOLEST in the world even though he doesn't sleep. I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone :)

On a side note- Lovey is having a "rattle-ectomy" this weekend. Our cousin, Nate who is 3/4 M.D. hopefully will help with the procedure. Lovey is wonderful....but needs to be silenced.

Last night- 10, 11:30, 1,2,3:30, 6:30

ASVKAWEGTPBHQWEK

After getting home from church meetings at 11 last night, Benjamin was awake more times than I can even remember. We stopped counting after a while......

Needless to say- my creative juices will not be awakened this morning even after several cups of coffee. It's going to be a very long day.

Ben is no worse for the wear- he's happily screeching in his playgym.

Here's to hoping for a better night....can't get much worse

The Happiest Boy in the Whole USA

When I was a baby/kid my mom used to call me "the happiest girl in the whole USA." I still clearly remember her singing this to me. I am now handing off my title to my son who really is amazingly happy and social. I guess I'll throw one caveat in...he's the happiest boy in the whole USA (except when it's time to sleep). Ben was in the best mood ever yesterday. He smiled...he laughed....he played.....he even tried to get Brina (the dog) to play with him.

I ventured out with him yesterday to an infant play/learning class in Columbia. We needed a break from house play/working at home so we took a field trip to Gymboree. Ben loved it. Mommy was creeped out by it. Ben thoroughly enjoyed himself. In this class, we were supposed to play with and engage our babies (singing songs to them, clapping their hands, moving their arms and legs, etc). Most of the other babies (ranging from 1 month to 6) stared up adoringly at their mothers and loved the face to face interaction. My child however was rolling from side to side reaching out to the other children trying to get them to interact with him. People must have thought that I'm some awful mother because my kid wouldn't play with me...he just wanted to play with the other babies in the room. This poor 3 month old named Carson got several chubby, slobbery Ben hands in his face throughout the class. Like I said- Ben loved it. I was a bit creeped out...especially when they pulled out the clown puppets.

Ben was exceptionally happy yesterday. He did his high pitched screech most of the day. For those who haven't heard this noise...think of the baby raptors in Jurassic Park. I love that he is already developing this sunny and happy disposition.

Daily he is teaching me important lessons.

"Mommy don't be such a grump"

"Mommy you should learn to play nice with others."

"Mommy....you can't make those peas taste good no matter how hard you try."

That being said.....up at 10, 11:30, 1:30, 4, 6, 7. Still....at least he's happy during the day!

Parental Paradox

First- a quick update on last night- we had a night very similar to Friday!! Benjo went down quickly, was up for 5 minutes at 10, but slept pretty much straight through until 12. Ate at 12, up for about 5 minutes at 4, ate at 5 and up for good at 6:30. All in all, not a bad night at all! Brian has declared himself "the sleep scientist." Both times Ben was up, he got him back to sleep quickly, without picking up him up. All good improvements again!

Call me totally crazy, but I kind of found myself missing Ben last night. Yes I'm super excited at the prospect of sleeping more for longer stretches than 2-3 hours, but there is something so precious about those nighttime hours that I know I'm going to miss. At night when everyone else is asleep in their beds, I got to bond with Ben in an incredibly special way. There is nothing like having a sleepy, cuddly baby curled up on your chest, perfectly content in mother's arms. Yes you are a walking zombie the next day, but for those few minutes or hours, time stands still and all is right with the world. Paradox.

My good friend, Sara, keeps telling me that each year your kids get better and better. I keep thinking "wow I'm going to miss this age..." but she is reassuring me that parenting continues to be more amazing as each year passes. I love that Ben is snuggly and cooing but I also look forward to the days when he can talk to us- when he can make informed decisions for himself. When his parents can attempt to persuade him to side with them in dinner time debates- Denver or Philadelphia? Democrat or Republican? Crest or Colgate?? I am so excited to see Ben developing so quickly and I wouldn't want it any other way- but there's still a part of me that is so sad to see how fast it's going. Paradox.

I can't wait until you sleep through the night....oh but that means I will have to go that long without seeing you. Paradox.

I can't wait until you can crawl and move around all by yourself......but that means you won't give me these huge smiles when I come and pick you up. Paradox.

I can't wait until I don't have to worry about leaking all down the front of my shirt in public places....but that means I give up that special time we have together. Paradox.

I can't wait until you can talk and actually tell us what is going on inside that cute little head....but that means everyone will know what you're saying not just mom who has learned what your "hungry cry" is vs. your "tired cry." Paradox.

Parental paradox.

Goodbye Lovey....Hello Albus

So "lovey" has been replaced and kicked out of the crib. Brian went to put Ben down last night and when he was finally asleep came into the bedroom and plopped on the bed saying that lovey had been demoted. His reasons were threefold

1- Lovey is a dumb name. Ben's new attachment item is a white and blue dog which Brian named Albus because he's an albino dog. He also like the name Rufus. His full name is Albino Rufus= Albus

2- Lovey is creepy. He calls it a floating bear head on a blanket.

3- Lovey jingles. He has a rattle thing in his head which jingles when you move him. Albus makes no noise. Albus will not wake Ben up when he moves him around like he did last night.

Update from the night....10,12,2,3,4,5,7......enough said???

Crowning Glory

Yesterday Brian and I were sitting at the table eating dinner together. He had been into work earlier and was very excited about a good result that he got in an experiment! He's been working on this particular thing for several months and finally got the outcome he was looking for. I asked him what his reaction was when he realized and he said "yay me." I started thinking back to what my life was like a year ago....I was far more productive and creative at work, running marathons and was furiously working on my Masters degree. I commented to Brian that I hadn't had a "Yay me" moment in a while (thinking about work and school). He, being the wonderful and sweet man he is said "You should have a 'yay me' moment everyday when you see Benj. He is your crowning glory." So sweet. So true. Benjamin is the best "yay me" thing in the whole world. What a great reminder :)

Well.....Mr. Crowning Glory was up to his old tricks again last night unfortunately. He was up every two hours, sometimes more than that. I knew it was a bad sign when he was awake less than 45 minutes after we put him down. Not sure what exactly changed, but he definitely slept like the Benj of old. Up 7:30, 9, 11, 1, 3 (for at least 75 minutes), 5ish and for good at 6. Brian went in and turned on the mobile and we let him chirp in the nursery for a while before finally getting up.

I wonder why Benjamin always sleeps so poorly, often his worst, on Saturday nights. Maybe he is so excited about church that he can't sleep?? Maybe he's worried about church and hoping there's a nice nursery attendant to play with him?? Who knows.

One Small Step For Babies....One Giant Leap for Benjamin

Ok....so maybe it's not as monumental as Neil Armstrong walking on the moon but for our household it's pretty darn close :) Keep reading.....

Benjamin was super cranky yesterday afternoon due to a missed nap so he was ready for bed much earlier than normal. Of course he fussed and fussed and I finally got him bathed, in pj's and settled down when he pooped and exploded out of his outfit. So off it came and the screaming resumed. In clean pj's and settled down again, I put him in his crib without feeding him. He was wide awake and on the verge of a breakdown. I gave him "lovey" and his pacifier and sat in the rocking chair waiting until I had to do my "Mommy to the rescue" thing. He moved around a bit....he kicked the crib a few times....he vocalized a bit.....then.....the beautiful sound of silence. Ahhhhh. And this sound continued until (drum roll....) 12:30!!!!!!!!!! Five and a half hours of uninterrupted sleep for little man! I kept waiting for him to cry but it never happened. I heard him move several times and normally moving is followed closely by crying but it never happened. I went in and fed him at 12:30 and heard no more peeps until 4. Fed him again at 4 and slept again until we heard happy cooing from the nursery at 6:30. Most of the time he wakes up crying but this morning he was turtledoving in his crib, happily staring at the mobile, the dots on the cribsheet or whatever else was so amusing.

So needless to say- this was a breakthrough night for Benjamin. Who knows if it'll last. Maybe tomorrow's post will be another "he was up 9 times" kind of deal but for now, we'll take what we can get! After a nice morning of pancakes and watching the rain fall outside, Ben is down for morning nap and all is quiet in the Roelofs' house. Brian is on the couch engrossed in a George R.R. Martin book and I'm sipping green tea debating a run in the rain. Happy day for us. Hope you all find yourself in a similar state this morning.

As promised....pictures of Benjamin and his friend, Clare :)