Crowning Glory

Yesterday Brian and I were sitting at the table eating dinner together. He had been into work earlier and was very excited about a good result that he got in an experiment! He's been working on this particular thing for several months and finally got the outcome he was looking for. I asked him what his reaction was when he realized and he said "yay me." I started thinking back to what my life was like a year ago....I was far more productive and creative at work, running marathons and was furiously working on my Masters degree. I commented to Brian that I hadn't had a "Yay me" moment in a while (thinking about work and school). He, being the wonderful and sweet man he is said "You should have a 'yay me' moment everyday when you see Benj. He is your crowning glory." So sweet. So true. Benjamin is the best "yay me" thing in the whole world. What a great reminder :)

Well.....Mr. Crowning Glory was up to his old tricks again last night unfortunately. He was up every two hours, sometimes more than that. I knew it was a bad sign when he was awake less than 45 minutes after we put him down. Not sure what exactly changed, but he definitely slept like the Benj of old. Up 7:30, 9, 11, 1, 3 (for at least 75 minutes), 5ish and for good at 6. Brian went in and turned on the mobile and we let him chirp in the nursery for a while before finally getting up.

I wonder why Benjamin always sleeps so poorly, often his worst, on Saturday nights. Maybe he is so excited about church that he can't sleep?? Maybe he's worried about church and hoping there's a nice nursery attendant to play with him?? Who knows.

One Small Step For Babies....One Giant Leap for Benjamin

Ok....so maybe it's not as monumental as Neil Armstrong walking on the moon but for our household it's pretty darn close :) Keep reading.....

Benjamin was super cranky yesterday afternoon due to a missed nap so he was ready for bed much earlier than normal. Of course he fussed and fussed and I finally got him bathed, in pj's and settled down when he pooped and exploded out of his outfit. So off it came and the screaming resumed. In clean pj's and settled down again, I put him in his crib without feeding him. He was wide awake and on the verge of a breakdown. I gave him "lovey" and his pacifier and sat in the rocking chair waiting until I had to do my "Mommy to the rescue" thing. He moved around a bit....he kicked the crib a few times....he vocalized a bit.....then.....the beautiful sound of silence. Ahhhhh. And this sound continued until (drum roll....) 12:30!!!!!!!!!! Five and a half hours of uninterrupted sleep for little man! I kept waiting for him to cry but it never happened. I heard him move several times and normally moving is followed closely by crying but it never happened. I went in and fed him at 12:30 and heard no more peeps until 4. Fed him again at 4 and slept again until we heard happy cooing from the nursery at 6:30. Most of the time he wakes up crying but this morning he was turtledoving in his crib, happily staring at the mobile, the dots on the cribsheet or whatever else was so amusing.

So needless to say- this was a breakthrough night for Benjamin. Who knows if it'll last. Maybe tomorrow's post will be another "he was up 9 times" kind of deal but for now, we'll take what we can get! After a nice morning of pancakes and watching the rain fall outside, Ben is down for morning nap and all is quiet in the Roelofs' house. Brian is on the couch engrossed in a George R.R. Martin book and I'm sipping green tea debating a run in the rain. Happy day for us. Hope you all find yourself in a similar state this morning.

As promised....pictures of Benjamin and his friend, Clare :)

Easily Amused

After yesterday's nap I'm convinced that Benjamin is just far too curious about the world around him to sleep. Sleep is boring.....everything around is not. Yesterday I put Ben down for a nap and thought he was asleep when I left the room. I turned the monitor on and heard "oooooo oooooo" and screeching laughter from upstairs. I peaked my head in the door and saw creature rolled on his side and his pudgy little hand grabbing at the dots on his cribsheet. There are little blue and brown dots on his white cribsheet and he was fascinated by them and was trying with all his might to pick them up. Why sleep when there are dots to be removed from the sheet?

Anyway- last night- I'd give it about a B. I was gone at choir rehearsal until about 10:00 so Brian put Ben down alone. He went down at 7, was up crying at 7:45 but Brian got him back to sleep. Up again at 10:15 but only for a few minutes. Up again at 11:15...same story. Brian has this down to a science after 3 nights. No joke....it only takes him about 5 minutes now and Ben is back to sleep. HUGE IMPROVEMENT. Up again at 12:30 when I fed him. Up again at 3:30 fed him again because he didn't take much at 12:30. I picked him up and he dive bombed my chest like he hadn't eaten in days so I knew he was actually hungry. He ate. He pooped. I gave him "lovey" and he fell back asleep. Yes...."lovey." That's what this new books calls any soft comfort object. Ben's "lovey" is a soft blanket thing with a bear's head sticking out of the middle of it. The bear only has arms and a head and the rest of him is blanket....if you've had a baby or babysat you might know what I'm talking about. I gave him "lovey" and he held it in one hand near his face and fell asleep. He slept until 7 this morning.

Overall I see improvement. Ben no longer needs to nurse every single time he wakes up. He also is able to fall asleep on his own. We put him down while he's still awake and he's able to fall asleep. 2 weeks ago he couldn't have done either of these things. So.....improvement!

By the way- Ben had a playdate again with his friend, Clare. The moms got to work making babyfood while the babies did what babies do....they slept, they pooped, they cried, they played. It was remarkable to see how much they've both changed in a month or two. Instead of just laying there ignoring each other they actually were interacting (as much as 4 month olds can interact). It was very sweet. They were very good....the peas we made were not :) Ben was however quite pleased with the sweet potatoes. (I'll post a picture tomorrow of Ben and Clare....my camera is at home. )

Pious Ben

I've decided that 9 months in utero of being exposed to church, seminary classes, synod, etc has created quite a pious child. He is not having sleep issues....he's trying to tell us that he gave us sleep for Lent. He's using the extra time awake at night and during the day to ponder and reflect Christ's sacrifice....and we should be doing the same thing.

Ok...that's a joke but I guess there's some seriousness about it too. Maybe lack of sleep has finally gone to my head but I've decided to use this time as a growing period especially since it is Lent. Instead of complaining about lack of sleep I can actually use the extra time for good. It gives me extra time to pray for Ben- pray that we are wise in parenting him and pray that he grows to be a man of integrity (hoping he eventually grows out of his crib thumping too). I can pray for our dear friend, Mary who we went to visit yesterday who only a month ago was walking around our house with Ben playing with him and now is too weak from cancer to even be able to lift him. I can realize that parenting is a sanctifying thing....and pray for patience and wisdom for Brian and me. I can meditate on Christ's great sacrifice for us that washes away all my imperfection and sin and even little Ben's. Anyway...those are my thoughts this morning. My new resolution for Lent.

Update on last night.....not better but not worse. He didn't nap well yesterday so it was early to bed. Asleep (fell asleep quickly and hard) at 7. Screamed screamed screamed from 9:30-10:50ish. It didn't matter if Brian was holding him or if he was in his crib- he was determined to SCREAM. So scream he did. After almost an hour Brian just came back in the room and we let him scream. There wasn't anything left to do for him and being in there didn't help so we just let him cry. He fell asleep finally. He slept until 1ish when I fed him. Up again at 3 and Brian went in and calmed him down and got him to sleep. Up again at 4:45- I fed him again then (in hindsight probably shouldn't have). Asleep until we heard him at about 6:15 laughing his head off. Mom Roelofs bought us a mobile with little animals and lights and sounds and we hung it over his crib. I think it was finally light enough in the room that he could see it and was hysterically laughing at the mobile. Brian went in and turned the thing on so it was playing music and spinning and we got an extra half our of sleep and got to hear one happy camper kicking in his crib.

So night 2 of 3 is done. Tonight we'll do the exact same thing. Tomorrow we'll make a gradual change and do that exact same thing for 3 nights. At this rate....it really will take the rest of Lent to get the sleeping issues squared away.

By the way- it took me almost an hour to write this email/post due to an EXPLOSION. Diapering was a lot less complicated when he wasn't eating solids. Breastmilk poop is gross but no unbearable. Peas, butternut squash and breastmilk is highly unpleasant. Sanctifying.

Happy Thursday everyone.

New sleep method- Day #1

Let me preface by saying that it's 7:30 and Ben is already down for a nap.......

We went to the pediatrician yesterday just to talk with her and make sure there's nothing physically wrong with Ben that is inhibiting him from sleeping through the night. I thought maybe it was pain from being on his back?? She examined him and really didn't think it was anything physical. She said if he really was in pain, he'd be fussy and miserable during the day as well not just when we're trying to put him down to sleep at night or for naps. She said he's scream on the changing table, scream in the playgym etc and he's normally a happy baby during the day. Of course he was showing off and flirting with the pediatrician cooing away.....making me look like a crazy mother. Ben loves the pediatrician- hasn't been conditioned to hate them like I did. So...no physical reason for pain. She said on the broad spectrum of sleepers, Ben is just on the far end of "not a good sleeper." She said her first child was the same way. She recommended a new book and new approach for us. The book is called Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She said some strong willed and advanced babies (she thinks Ben is both) not only don't do well with the cry it out method but she said it can actually backfire and make sleeping habits worse. Bingo.

So I got this book from the library yesterday. We started reading it, and found a website for the Sleep Lady with the top 10 list of things you're doing wrong to prevent your baby from sleeping. We started a semi-new routine last night for Ben - read a book (in this case 2 books) first, then wash (either bath or just face and butt) then massage and pajamas on, then a bottle. Importantly, we need to put him in the crib before he's completely asleep - he needs to be about a 6 or a 7 on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being asleep. So, we did that part, and it went well - he got a little fussy when he first got put in the crib, but Brian stayed with him for about 10 minutes and soothed him to the point where he fell asleep. He slept for 2 hours about, then woke up with a vengeance... Brian went in and held him/soothed him for another 10-15 minutes, with him screaming just about the entire time (this was around 9:45 or so). He finally fell asleep back in the crib again with Brian holding the pacifier in his mouth and rubbing his stomach. He was up again at 11:30 then again at 12:15. I fed him only at 12:15. This book says that babies his age should be able to go 8 hours at night without eating....Ben usually barely goes 3-4. So we're trying to stretch him out and only feed him every 5.5 hours and progressively work our way closer to what he should be at right now. So I didn't feed him until 12:15. Fed him and he was up again at 1:15. This time he screamed and stayed awake quite frustrated he wasn't being nursed like normal. I finally went in and woke Brian up at 2:30 to come help because he wasn't going to sleep for me without nursing. Brian got him down around 3. Up again at 4:30. Up for good at 5:45. It's taken 30 minutes to write this email already because as soon as I wrote that he was down for a nap, I heard creature stirring in the other room. I went in and soothed him and now Brian is in there trying. He's not getting away with a 7 minute nap this morning...won't make up for the marathon that was last night.

So....there's night 1. As Brian said- we have the first one under our belts. The key for us is consistency...we're going to try this method and be strict about it for several weeks. We're trying to exact same thing day and night for the next 3 days before gradually changing. This method is less harsh than cry it out and hopefully will be less traumatic for all parties involved. Hopefully Brina won't go running to the basement quite as often (yes....the dog goes and hides in the basement when Ben is screaming)

Here's to hoping for a better day/night tomorrow

Sleep Adventures

HI everyone.....yess......AGES since we've posted anything. There's so much to report that I'm not even going to try and catch everyone up. Instead...I'm changing this blog to posting about our sleep adventures and other adventures we're encountering in this thing called "parenthood." I've been emailing our family members daily to fill them in on the goings on (especially sleep related since that's what we've been struggling with most) and have decided to post these to the blog as well. So if you're wondering how things are going at 546 Shipley Road.....keep reading. Also- if you have any suggestions we will take them!!

Updates from the last 3 days.

March 7
we have a new record folks
Knew it was a bad sign when Ben was up 5 times before 12:00 last night.....
Awake and crying 9 times in 11 hours
Needless to say.....he is not going to church this morning but mommy is on her way out the door on about 2 hours of sleep
Prayers would be appreciated

March 8
Well....I think I might have "figured Ben out" (sort of). We put him down at the normal time but he screamed right when we put him in the crib. Per Emily's suggestion, I rolled up a blanket and propped him up on his side. I put him in the crib and he cried but as soon as I rolled him on his side and put the pacifier in this mouth he was sound asleep. No joke....instantaneous change. Now we have to figure out a way to keep him on his side. Brian went in twice before he went to bed to re-prop him. I went in at 11:30 to feed him and again at like 12:30 to prop him. Each time he fell asleep the second he was propped. At 1:45 I went in and the poor dude had rolled on his stomach and was flopping like a beached whale. I went down to the basement and got those sleep positioner blocks we used to use when he was a newborn but he didn't seem to like having blocks on his front and back. I surrendered at 3:15 after trying for an hour and half and put him in the carseat. Slept until 5:15, ate went back to sleep until 7:15! Brian went in there and he was sitting in his carseat happily staring at his hands. so....now we know that it's not the crib and not even wanting us to be in there with him. He hates being on his back and must be in pain. So we have something to work with at the doctor tomorrow morning. Em- how do you keep Levi on his side?? We don't swaddle Ben now so he moves freely and kept falling off the blanket. How do you do it with Levi? Much better night....at least got some sleep. Feel human today. Babysitter coming at 12 and hopefully I'll be leaving her with a happier baby. Yay for some improvement!

March 9
Update from last night..... Went down around 8ish. The babysitter, Carolyn, put him down for a nap at 5 because he was really cranky so he didn't wake up until around 6:15. Went down after bath and putting down 8.5 oz of milk......trying to out-eat his parents I guess. I bought a sleep wedge from Babies R'us last night....it's pretty much a glorified, expensive foam wedge that I probably could have made myself if I tried hard enough but oh well. I discovered two problems with the wedge... #1- we tried to put him down on his back because he was elevated. He seemed to actually seemed to be ok with this. But he moves so much that he would wiggle down the wedge and end up flat on his back at the bottom of it. I could keep him up on it so the first half of the night was spent moving him up the wedge. #2- I'm really dutch so I left the plastic on the thing (don't worry it's under his cribsheet and mattress pad) so if it doesn't work I can return it. But......whenever he moved it made the sound plastic makes when it's being moved. I think this reminded him of crinkle book and he excitedly squirmed around at first and was fascinated by the sound he was creating. Not only did I hear WHAM from his feet hitting the mattress in the monitor but I heard crinkle crinkle crinkle from the plastic. He was down at 8, up at 11, 12, 2:30-3:15. I heard him at 5 but he was happily singing and cooing in the monitor so I let him be. He carried on with his happy song until about 5:40 and went back to sleep until almost 7. Oh and yes I moved him to the carseat in the 2:30-3:15 window. He's now down for a morning nap already....he's proped up on the wedge and up on his side and looks quite ridiculous but he's sleeping. Too bad I have to wake him up in 15 minutes to go to the pediatrician. Will let you know how that turns out....

Benjamin Kenneth Roelofs!!

Hi everyone

Yes...it's sad that I haven't posted anything since September. The last post talks about assembling nursery furniture......and now we actually have someone using that furniture but better late than never! On October 30th we welcomed Benjamin Kenneth Roelofs into our lives and hearts! Life will never be the same...and that is a really really good thing. I'll backtrack a bit and fill you in on the goings on over the past few weeks.

Benjamin put up quite the battle to stay in utero. He fought and fought until the very last minute when he was literally evicted. I started having contractions in the beginning of October. We took a trip to labor and delivery just to be told to go home and wait for the real thing to begin. But since I work in DC and that's almost an hour drive each way, I was home bound for several weeks before his due date. I didn't want to get to work, have my water break and then have to find a way to get to Baltimore. Luckily I have a job that is very accommodating and let me work from home the last few weeks. There were many times where contractions would start, go strong for a few hours and then just quit....very frustrating to wait and wait and wait. I never thought I'd sit around my house and want to be in the greatest pain of my life but that's what it boiled down to. I walked 5-6 miles a day, ate spicy food and did just about everything in my power to get things going. I learned a lot about patience and waiting on the Lord. His timing is always perfect....and in this instance it definitely was.

October 22 came and went. After having that date circled on the calendar for 9 long months it was really hard to have it come and go and still have no baby. My OB set the date for induction a week later on the 29th so at least we knew he was coming out at some point in time! On the 29th we went into the hospital at 6:30 p.m. for an overnight induction. They start at night hoping you can get some sleep during the early part and then be laboring during the day instead of the night. We arrived at labor and delivery only to be told that the floor was full and there were no empty beds! They asked us to come back in the morning but after a bit of pleading they sent us out for dinner and told us to come back in a few hours to see if anything opened up. By 8:30ish there was a bed available and we got ourselves all checked in. They started induction meds around 9:30 and by 10 I was having tons of contractions....so many that they had to change medications and slow things down a bit.

At 10 the next morning after contracting every few minutes for 12 hours straight and only being 3 cm, I gave in and went for the epidural. I had kind of hoped to go natural but had heard not so great things about induction so was open to drugs if need be. After 12 hours it was time.... too bad they missed. Either the anesthesiologist missed or I moved the catheter out of position...but either way it did very little to help with the pain. I kept wondering....why do people love these things so much when they don't really help? Is it normal to still be able to move my legs and feet? Water broke at 1 and contractions really got bad. Had it not been for Brian, my mom and the nurses I definitely don't think I would have made it. Without their encouraging words and support I would have just given up...not that that was an option but still...not fun. Around 4 the nurses figured I had enough and called anesthesia back to re-evaluate. After a few tests and attempts to stop the pain the realized what was going on and pulled the first epidural and put in another. Good thing I'm not too freaked out about needles....it took 4 tries to get the IV in and 2 to get the epidural. The second one kicked in right away and brought instant relief. The doctor came in to check again about 5 minutes later and said "woah....there's the head." It took 12 hours to get to 3 cm but only 3 to get the remaining 7. So I basically got the epidural just in time to start pushing. After 2+ hours of pushing I admit I was really glad I did have it but still....ironic.

At 7:30 we welcomed Benajmin into the world. He was a little stunned when he came out and wasn't breathing right away so they whisked him away to get him going. It was hard to not be able to hold him and even worse to not hear him crying. By then there were half a dozen people in the room running around tending to him working to get him breathing on his own. Poor Brian was torn between wanting to be next to me to reassure me that things were going to be ok and wanting to be over near him actually making sure this was the case. But they got him breathing and brought him over to us and he was PERFECT. Yes I know I'm biased....but he really is perfect. Even now at home, he is the perfect baby. For the most part he sleeps, eats constantly and is very healthy. He's 6.5 oz up from birth weight already and doing well. He's happy and almost never cries. He weighed 7 pounds and was 21 inches long.

We're settling into life at home and life together. Praise God for this wonderful blessing and miracle! To echo a friend...there is no experience like creating and bringing a child into the world with the person you love and being able to see traces of both of you in their face. I marvel at God's amazing work in little Benjamin! Thank you to everyone who has called, brought food, sent gifts and prayed for us. We really appreciate everything!

We'll keep you posted with pictures!